Teacher Poems

Hi all,

I thought it would be fun to post the final assignment I had for my masters assessments course. The title of it is Red Flags be Gone, and it's about all of the things that teachers should watch out for when testing for student comprehension, reasoning, skill, etc...

Red Flags Be Gone

Be gone ye red flags
Ye villainous sins
Be gone with the tests
Whence not a soul wins

Give me more time
I cry
With tears in my eyes
I do not understand
Nor can I surmise
Why you
Oh red flag
Must assess me so
With so much yet to do
And little time yet to go

If you but gave me an hour

Maybe two more

I’d write this blasted essay

T’would go down in the lore

Be gone ye red flags
Ye beggards and hags
Nary a day has passed by
Sans tear in mine eye

I don't understand
I say
Why do you ask
Is it red or is it gray?
We learned about multiplication
So I plead red flag
Give some unification
Your objectives were clear
Yet this test does not match

Give me new questions

I beg you, stay true to the unit

And throw out this batch

Gods just do it

Be gone ye red flags

You blasphemous things

You’re taking my heart

And breaking my wings

Why do you have

to befuddle me so?

These questions are muddled

And my head sinking low

I think about why

If you would simply clarify

Whether I should answer yes or no

Or is this multiple choice?

I am simply bamboozled, a mess

If you de-cluttered your language

And underlined for stress

What you meant to be answered

T’would ease my distress

Be gone ye red flags

Ye detestable sight

Ye mar on my paper

Unseemly blight

This material we studied

T’was eons ago

Yet now we be testing

And I don’t really know

Why you muddled my head

With content a’twixt

And expect us to recall in spring

Our study in fall

Did I retain anything?

I ask you red flag, nay I implore

Timeliness is a virtue

Next to godliness I am sure

If you aim to assess my knowledge

Be formative instead

And then review the content

Before it leaves my head

Be gone ye red flags

I shan’t hold you dear

For your invalid measure

Has now power here

I surely comprehend

Why fairness is important

Yet testing us equally

Is simply exorbitant

I am not the same

As Billy or Jimmy or Sue

And if you give it some thought

You know it to be true

That my perspective

Pairs with comprehension

I demand you red flag

Remove your pretension

That out of twenty-three students

Not one of us may differ

In the way that we learn, and think and remember

Differentiation I do declare

Is the only way

To make this test truly fair

So while Billy gets read to

And Jimmy and Sue get more time

This test makes more sense to me

If it’s written in rhyme

Be gone ye red flags

I’ve said enough

You’re banished from my class

Though it may be tough

I’ve no room for you here

So leave, out the door

And be gone from all sight

You’re not welcome

Anymore